Silent Night
by Sparky75
Summary: Set towards the latter part of s8, a Christmas story with a hint of hope for Harry and Ruth. Merry Christmas!


This started as one idea and morphed into something else. It rambles at times and I just hope it makes some sort of sense, it's also quite sentimental but if you can't be sentimental at Christmas then when can you be... and hopefully there's some humour in there as well to lighten the load. It's set sometime towards the end of s8, certainly before s9 and Ruth's personality transplant. I hope you enjoy reading it and any comments or reviews would be gratefully received. Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year, wherever in the world you are and whatever it is that you're doing.

* * *

Harry shrugged his heavy coat on as he walked out onto the street and breathed in the cold air with relief. He'd spent the last four hours cooped up at Whitehall at a Christmas Eve reception hosted by the Home Secretary and he'd spent the whole time willing his phone to ring to give him an excuse to leave. It had been hot, stuffy and full of people who'd rather have been elsewhere, but didn't have the excuse that they were leaving London for Christmas to fall back on. He reached into his pocket to check for any messages or emails that may have come through, before groaning softly as he realised that the reason he hadn't received any calls was probably because his phone was sat charging in his office on the Grid. He checked his watch quickly before tuning on his heel and heading back towards Thames House.

As he exited the pods, his eyes were immediately drawn to the lamp that illuminated a desk while the rest of the Grid sat in darkness. Section G was covering Christmas this year, so although key personnel were on call should any atrocity happen, most people had the time off. Harry had sent his team home at 5.00pm on the dot wanting them all to make the most of their time off, before retreating to his office and burying himself in paperwork, that had to be done, Christmas or not. It now appeared that one member of his team hadn't listened to him, and his heart constricted as he saw her face silhouetted in the glare of the computer in front of her.

He made his way over slowly, "Ruth, what are you still doing here? I told you to go home hours ago."

She looked up in surprise as his shadow loomed across her desk and pulled out her headphones, "Harry, what are you doing here? I thought you were at Whitehall."

His lips quirked into a small smile, "I believe I asked first."

"What... oh," Ruth glanced at her watch. "I've got somewhere to be shortly and I didn't see the point of going home first and then coming back in."

"Somewhere to be at this time?" Harry looked at her, before a shadow crossed his face, "I see. Well don't let me hold you up." His face suddenly resembled a mask, "I just popped in quickly as I left my phone in the office charging... I've only just realised and as much as I'd like the peace and quiet, I don't think I'd get away with leaving it here for a couple of days."

Ruth smiled warmly and Harry thought he detected a hint of relief in her eyes, what that would be about, he had no idea. "Smart phones are really anything but at times," Ruth said slowly, "I remember when a single phone charge would last for days, now it's every few hours."

"Indeed." Harry nodded. "Well I don't want to stop you from being wherever you've got to be at this time of night so I'll just grab my phone and be off. You have a good Christmas Ruth, whoever you're spending it with."

"Whoever I'm..." Ruth's voice trailed off as Harry turned away from her desk and walked quickly over to his office, her face was riddled with confusion as he walked away.

Harry didn't bother to switch on the light in his office, choosing instead to navigate by the dim glow his computer screen was emitting. Hearing that Ruth had plans for this evening at this late hour had left him feeling like he'd been punched in the solar plexus. They'd been growing ever closer since her return from Cyprus and had even managed a couple of friendly drinks together late in his office when everyone else had left for the night. He'd been toying with the idea of asking her to join him for Christmas, but there had never seemed to be the right moment and she'd been absent both when he let the team go home and then when he'd left himself an hour or so later to head to Whitehall. Now it seemed he'd left it too late and his mind was suddenly filled with images of Ruth going over to the house of 'George mark two', who she'd join after he returned home after a late shift at the hospital where he worked. His mind was working overtime on his fictional creation as he picked up his phone and noticed that he had three missed calls and three corresponding voicemails. Two were from withheld numbers and there was one from his daughter, he clicked to listen to the messages as he walked out of his office and back over towards the pods.

'Hi Dad, just wanted to say Happy Christmas, not sure I'll have mobile coverage tomorrow... so well, enjoy your day and don't eat too much turkey and drink too much whisky.' Harry smiled as he saved the message, they were meeting for lunch early in the New Year and she was spending Christmas with her boyfriends family in the Highlands of Scotland. He clicked to listen to the next message still thinking about the first. 'Hi Harry, it's me... Ruth. I just thought... well it doesn't really matter now. I'll see you in a couple of days. Bye'.

Ignoring the third message, he turned quickly towards Ruth who was in the process of switching her computer off and putting her coat on. "You called earlier," he blurted out, "I'm sorry I missed it."

She looked over at him, she'd almost forgotten about that; after working up the courage to call him and then him not answering or calling her back, had left her wishing she'd never made the call in the first place. "I er, yes."

"Was it something important?" he asked as he slowly made his way back over to her, his phone still gripped in his hand.

Ruth shook her head, "it was nothing really." Harry looked at her expectantly and she knew that he wouldn't take that as an answer. "It was just," she started, "I bumped into an old friend of mine when I popped out for a sandwich at lunchtime."

"Oh," Harry looked at her curiously, wondering where this was going.

"Yes, someone from the choir I was in before I..." she stumbled over the words, "before Cotterdam."

"Oh."

"And we got talking and he asked me if I'd like to come along tonight."

"And you just said yes?" for the second time that night Harry felt like the wind had been kicked out of his sails.

Ruth looked at him curiously, wondering were the sudden clipped tone had come from, he seemed to be in a particularly strange mood tonight. "Why wouldn't I? They're some of the few people that think I just moved away to a new city, rather than flinging myself off a bridge and killing myself."

"Well I still don't think it's safe to be meeting up with a man you haven't seen for years at this time of night!"

"What?" an amused look suddenly came over her face as she realised the reason for his earlier shortness. "Brian is hardly a danger to society, plus his wife and the rest of the choir will be there too just in case he has turned into Jack the Ripper over the last few years."

"Oh..." Harry had the decency to blush slightly as he realised he'd been caught out, but frankly he didn't care, given that his worries of handsome, youthful, single George Mark II The Doctor had suddenly morphed into married Brian who was probably pot bellied and middle-aged, and therefore no competition. Not admitting to himself that he certainly fit the second description a lot better than the first, he continued, "so why did you call me?"

It was Ruth's turn now to look a little uneasy, "it was silly really, they're singing tonight at St Paul's for the Midnight Christmas Service and I thought it might be nice to have some company."

"Oh." Harry uttered again, for what felt to him like the umpteenth time he'd said it. What was it about Ruth that turned him at times from an articulate man into a gibbering schoolboy.

"But it's too late now," Ruth glanced at her watch, "bugger, I should really have left already."

"No." From 'Oh to No' Harry thought to himself wearily. He was going to buy himself a thesaurus for Christmas he decided.

"No?"

"No, it's not too late..." Harry held out his hand and indicated towards the pods as he finally managed to string a sentence together, "shall we?"

* * *

Harry guided Ruth gently through the main entrance to St Pauls with a hand hovering around the small of her back. He glanced around taking in the impressive scale of the Cathedral which always caught him slightly unawares with just how large and imposing it was. The majority of pews were already full and spotting a couple of seats a few rows in front of them he moved quickly down the aisle. "You should be able to spot your friends from here," he murmured to her, aware of the quiet conversations going on all around them.

Ruth sat down with a sideways smile at him, "Thanks, I'm sure I'll see them when they come through."

They looked around as they took their seats; the walk over had been conducted at a fast pace with them setting off as late as they had and there was only a couple of minutes before the service was due to start. They were both a little flushed from both the brisk pace they'd set on the way over and the bitingly cold weather outside where it had already dipped below freezing.

"I hadn't realised you were part of the St. Paul's choir before you left?" Harry asked curiously, he was sure that had she been, it would have been something he was aware of.

"I wasn't," Ruth laughed softly, "it was nowhere near this glamourous and the people I know singing here tonight, they're not either."

"Oh?"

"They've just been brought in to bolster the numbers. Apparently quite a few members of the regular choir are unexpectedly away and they were contacted through a friend of a friend to see if they could help out."

"I suppose the chance to sing at St. Paul's isn't something many people would turn down given half the chance."

Ruth smiled, "I suppose not. It is an amazing building."

Harry nodded in agreement, "you didn't fancy joining up with them again when you returned?"

She shook her head slightly, "in all honesty, I never really thought about it."

"You should do," Harry reached over and squeezed her hand gently, "it does us all good to have something away from the service, somewhere where we can pretend to just be normal people for an hour or two."

Ruth laughed lightly, missing the feel of his hand as he withdrew it back into his lap, "and what do you do to escape from it all," she teased, "is this where you reveal that you spend your Wednesday evenings cage fighting?"

Harry let out a large bark of laughter before muffling it under his glove. "Sorry to disappoint," he said his eyes twinkling, lit up by all the candles surrounding them. "This is a do what I say moment, rather than a do what I do."

Ruth laughed lightly before turning more serious, "I think we're both guilty of letting the job consume us at times."

"It goes with the territory I'm afraid."

"I know," she sighed wistfully, "but you're right, maybe I will look at joining the choir again."

Harry was about to answer when the congregation stood up all around them as one, as the church organ changed from playing the welcome music as people filtered in, to the first few bars of _Once in Royal David's City_.

The next hour passed quickly in a blur of carols, a sermon and the traditional telling of the Christmas story. Ruth had grasped his arm midway through _Good King Wenceslas_ and attempted to point out to him her friends, but all he could see was a mass of people dressed in their red chorister uniforms. As the service came to a close with the strains of Silent Night ringing out around the cathedral and with the Bishop of London leading the way down the aisle ,Ruth leaned over and whispered in Harry's ear, "would you mind hanging around for a few moments at the end? I'd like to say hello to a few people."

Harry nodded, "take as long as you like." He looked over at her as the music died away and the congregation around them stood to leave. "Thank you."

Ruth looked puzzled, "what for?"

"For asking me here tonight...to come with you."

"I wasn't sure if you'd like it," she said quietly, "if it was your type of thing."

"It's been years since I've been to a church for just a regular service," Harry mused, "I'm not a religious man but I do like the sense of peace you can get from a church."

Ruth smiled, "You're normally a hatches, matches and dispatches man then?"

"Something like that, and there's been rather to many of the dispatched in recent times." He fell silent for a moment not wanting to get caught in a maudlin mood.

Ruth reached over and took his hand in hers, the number of funerals he'd attended just of his closest team, was more than any person should have to go through. "I know," she answered briefly, thinking not of George for once, but of Adam and Zaf, of Danny and Fiona and all the others that had lost their lives while protecting the country they served.

Harry squeezed her hand, knowing that she was remembering fallen friends too. After a couple of minutes and in an effort to bring them back to the here and now he cleared his throat and spoke in a low voice. "Attending church for services in recent years has rarely been a pleasant experience for me, but I do have another reason to visit a number of churches." At Ruth's curious look he continued, "there's at least 15 members of the clergy across London that assist the security services and a church is always a good place to have a meeting or hide something you don't want found. There's all kind of things hidden away in the crypts of these places."

Ruth looked shocked and pulled her hand back, "Harry!"

He shrugged his shoulders unapologetically, "churches have been used this way for centuries, I'm just carrying on the tradition." Seeing her still shocked face, he moved in a little closer with a small smile, "don't worry, I'm equal opportunities when it comes to this. Churches, Mosques, Temples, Synagogues, you name it, I've been there and there will be stuff hidden!"

Ruth laughed suddenly, the move lighting up her face. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised," she said ruefully. She looked around her realising that the congregation had thinned out considerably while they'd been chatting away to each other. "We should head outside before I miss them, I'd imagine they'll be heading out of the side door."

Harry nodded in agreement, standing up slowly he automatically reached for Ruth's hand to help her up, not noticing that he'd actually done so until she'd taken it and was stood beside him still holding it. "We should..." He indicated towards the main door with his head,

She squeezed his hand lightly before letting go and moved out into the aisle, "we don't have to stay long," she said. "I just want to say hello and wish them Happy Christmas and then we can be off."

"Don't rush on my account", Harry said warmly, "take as long as you want." They exited the Cathedral to a blast of polar air, everything was still but the temperature had fallen even further and was now a few degrees below freezing and a hard frost was forming. "On second thoughts," Harry joked with a smile feeling the cold hit his face, "maybe you could just leave them a note with he Bishop and ask him to pass it on!" Puffs of white came out as he spoke with his breath instantly freezing in the cold.

Ruth looked at him but quickly realised he was teasing her and after glancing around quickly and made her way over to a group of people who were milling about chatting and exchanging hugs as people left.

"Ruth," a shout went up and a few people instantly made their way over to her. Harry stood back slightly watching her from the side-lines as she greeted her old friends from the choir, people she had thought she'd never see again. He couldn't spot Brian though, the man she'd mentioned earlier, all the people she was currently with were definitely not middle-aged and there didn't seem to be a pot belly or a comb over in sight. Harry looked over to where Ruth was animatedly chatting to a man that could only be described as a cross between Adam Carter and Zafar Younis; even Harry, firmly entrenched in heterosexuality, could recognise a very good looking man when he saw him.

It was as if Ruth could hear the thoughts running through his head, as at that exact moment she turned round to look for him. Spotting him stood a little way away she indicated for him to come over before introducing him to the Adonis, who as luck would have it, was the aforementioned Brian. So much for labelling someone by a name Harry though to himself wryly. Brian shook his hand heartily before turning to Ruth, "Harry... is this 'the' Harry?"

Ruth looked a little taken aback, "Sorry?"

"The Harry you were seeing before you left." Brian said breezily "We all presumed that you'd gone off and married him and then moved away, and that's why you'd suddenly stopped coming to choir."

Ruth's face flushed with colour but whether it was from the cold or what Brian was saying Harry had no idea. "I errr..." she stumbled over her words

Brian looked suddenly concerned, "I haven't gone and put my foot in it have I? This isn't another Harry?"

Ruth shook her head while wishing the ground would open up and swallow her whole. She'd completely forgotten telling them all about Harry one evening in the pub after practice when they were discussing friends that they had who they could set her up with. She'd embellished things over the weeks and as hers and Harry's relationship in reality had floundered somewhat when she'd taken fright, she'd stuck to the script with her friends from the choir, that in her mind she'd desperately wanted to happen, which was that they were seeing more and more of each other and things were getting serious. "No it's the same Harry," she squeaked, hardly daring to look at the man himself, who in turn was looking at her with undisguised curiosity on his face.

Fortunately Brian didn't notice her embarrassment or if he did, he chose to overlook it. "Well it's nice to finally meet you Harry," he said, leaning over and shaking the older man's hand. "We heard a lot about you when you two first started dating."

Harry grinned broadly and returned the handshake with vigour, "all good I hope!"

Brian laughed while Ruth studied her feet in acute embarrassment, "all very good from what I remember. We thought you must have whisked Ruth away, she mentioned that the two of you had been talking about doing the Grand Tour of all the European cities, is that where you disappeared off too?"

"Nothing so glamourous I'm afraid," Harry replied, thinking on the hoof. "I had to move away for work and persuaded Ruth to join me; we've only just recently moved back to London."

"Well that's great." Brian suddenly looked up at him in interest, "do you sing Harry? We're hoping to lure Ruth back to the choir but we can always do with more men."

Harry glanced at Ruth who still looked like she wanted to disappear forever into a cave and took pity on her. "No, I'm afraid not, I'm completely tone deaf when it comes to any form of music or singing." He smiled fondly down at Ruth, "Ruth is the one with the good voice."

"That she has." Brian glanced around him as some other members having said a quick hello and goodbye to Ruth, started to wander off up the main street. "It looks like people are heading off now to the after drinks," he rubbed his hands together trying to ward off the cold. "Why don't you two join us? Some mulled wine and mince pies will warm you back up and we can continue chatting in slightly warmer climes."

"No." Ruth blurted out suddenly.

Brian looked slightly affronted at her quick dismissal of his invitation. "No?"

"We'd love to, but we can't I'm afraid," Harry butted in quickly, "we have an early start tomorrow, you know what its like."

Brian smiled in recognition, "that I do. Look, well it's been lovely finally meeting you Harry and it was great to see you again Ruth." He said while shaking Harry's hand and kissing Ruth on the cheek. "I must go and catch up with my wife before she polishes off all the mulled wine. Ruth we'd love to see you again, we still meet in the same place for practice. Tuesday's at 8.00pm, our next meeting is the Tuesday after New Year."

"Perhaps." Ruth said quietly, privately thinking she had no intention of doing so.

"She'd love too!" Harry interjected quickly, not wanting her to lose out on the opportunity to reconnect with old friends just because of a few white lies she'd told nearly four years earlier.

Ruth glared at Harry as Brian with one final wave and a "see you then" jogged off down the street to join the rest of his party.

"She'd love too!" Ruth said in disbelief, "where did you get that idea... and what makes you think you can answer on my behalf."

"Well given we're virtually an old married couple..." Harry saw the look on her face and retracted swiftly, "sorry, sorry." He reached out with his hand and took her elbow gently in an effort to make her look at him. "But you should go Ruth, you were only just saying that you wanted some normality in your life and the opportunity to sing again. This is your chance."

"But they all think we're..."

"Bugger what they all think," he looked around him "look, we should try and find a taxi and get home, we can carry on this discussion in the car where it's a bit warmer."

Ruth looked around, it was suddenly very quiet, the crowds had dispersed and being the early hours of Christmas Day there was hardly any traffic about. "We could walk?"

"Walk?"

"Well not all the way home obviously, given we live quite a few miles apart, but back to Thames House. There should be some taxi's there at the stand around the corner... Besides..." she trailed off.

"Besides what?" Harry asked, as they started to make there way slowly back towards the Millennium Bridge.

"I like London when it's like this, all crisp and cold and quiet."

Harry looked around him and understood what she meant, "well just be careful in those boot's, some of this pathway is like an ice rink."

Ruth smiled fondly at him and in reply tucked her hand through his arm, "well this will help then."

Harry looked at her with a soft smile on his face, "I suppose it will," he answered tucking her more securely into his side.

They wandered slowly over the bridge stopping half way along to watch the blackness of the Thames flow beneath them. It was silent for a few moments and Harry tipped his head back to look at the stars that could only very rarely be spotted in central London. Despite the frigid air, he didn't think he'd felt this content in a long-time. It felt like there was only him and Ruth in the whole of London and despite them coming to a halt, she still continued to stand close to him with her arm threaded through his.

His musings were interrupted by a soft voice. "Why haven't you said anything?"

Her voice brought him back into the moment. "I'm sorry?" He looked slightly confused, "said anything about what?"

"About what Brian said earlier, about what I'd told him about you." Ruth desperately wanted to forget that that conversation had ever taken place, but knew that unless she front footed it with Harry, she'd spend the next few days worrying and fretting about it and probably loosing sleep over it.

"Ahhh, that."

"Yes that.

Harry looked down at her, she was staring down at the river as if hoping it was going to whisk her away. "I don't think it really matters, that's why I haven't said anything, "he said softly.

"But I..."

"You told them all a few years ago that we were in a relationship," he continued as if she hadn't spoken, "and to all intents and purposes we were."

"But."

"But nothing Ruth," Harry reached out his free hand and gently moved it to her chin to get her to face him. "We were just going through some initial teething problems that's all, like the fact that I was your Boss. Given time, we would have got through these issues, we just didn't have the time."

Ruth smiled weakly, "so you don't think I'm an idiot."

"Not at all, you just put into words what you wanted our relationship to be... what we both wanted our relationship to be." Harry paused before moving to brush a strand of hair that had fallen across her face out of her eyes, "there's nothing wrong with that."

"You really think we'd have got there if Cotterdam hadn't happened?"

Harry nodded, "I do. The feelings were there between us, we just hadn't learnt how to cope with them given our relevant positions." He took a deep breath before taking the plunge, "and speaking honestly, I think we're in the same position now." Ruth looked at him but didn't say a word so he ploughed on. "My feelings for you haven't changed and despite everything that's happened I think you still have some feelings for me?"

Ruth stood without moving for a few long moments before inclining her head slowly in an approximation of a nod. "That may be the case Harry, but how can we..." she trailed off.

"See exactly the same position as we were in before." Harry looked at her and moved slightly so they were facing each other fully and as her hand slipped out of the grasp of his arm with the movement, he caught it in his larger hand and puled her gently towards him. "We've just got to find a way through this as well... and this time we do have the time."

"But..."

"I know it's not going to be easy Ruth, I'm still your boss and I know you're still grieving for George and the Boy and the life you had in Cyprus; but I really think that as we still feel this way after nearly four years, then we both owe it to the other to at least give it a chance to work, to give us a chance to work." Harry looked down at her, she was still stood close to him and hadn't moved away which he took as a good sign, "what do you think?"

"I don't kn..." her words died away, "you really think we've got a chance, the two of us?"

Harry nodded, "I do." He leant down and kissed her softly, a peck nothing more. "what do you say?"

Ruth smiled softly at him, the kiss had surprised her as had his confession that his feelings for her hadn't changed over the years, she'd known it, she just hadn't expected him to verbalise it. She had known that, almost from the moment she'd set eyes on him again just as she'd also known that however much she'd cared for George, it had never been in the same way she'd loved Harry. "Does this mean that you'll be cooking me Christmas Dinner tomorrow?" she said in lieu of a direct answer.

Harry smiled broadly, "if that's what it takes for you to give me a chance, then I'll promise to cook the full works."

"Is that an invitation then?

"Yes... though you may change my mind once you've tasted my cooking."

Ruth laughed softly before her face grew serious again, "I do want to give it a go Harry, I can't promise that I'll be easy to deal with and I'm still trying to cope with some stuff... but I do want us to try."

"That's all we can do," he bent his head down slowly while she slowly raised hers and suddenly their lips were millimetres apart. "Happy Christmas Ruth."

Her answering reply of Happy Christmas was lost as their lips moved towards and over each other in a soft and slow kiss while they wrapped their arms around each other both of them looking forward to a future that was theirs to grasp.

THE END AND MERRY CHRISTMAS


End file.
